About the last 2 weeks, when I sent my husband to the hospital to accompanied his father, my 5 years old son asked me ‘why atok is here?’
Then he asked me ‘mommy, when I become atok, what will u call me?’
And to not telling lie (), I answered ‘when u become atok, mommy is not here anymore’. Kids being kids, they always curious. He asked me ‘where are u going? Why u are not here?’
Then i said ‘Armaan dah tua, mommy pon dah mati la. Everyone will die’ he replied to me ‘nanti semua orang dah tua semua orang mati?’ And I just said ‘yes’ (punya la taknak menipu )
Suddenly he cried and said ‘Armaan taknak jadi besar macam daddy. Armaan taknak mati. Armaan taknak jadi tua’ then I said ‘ok Armaan stay like this je ok’
Dia sambung lagi ‘Armaan taknak mommy mati. Armaan taknak’ sambil meleleh air mata then dia kesat air mata dia.
Kids even don’t understand what will happen, yet those things are scary for them. Mommy pon sad tengok dia sad macam tu
Mommy ada depan mata dia pon dia sedih sangat2 banyak kali cakap ‘Armaan taknak mommy mati’. Macam mana la kalau mommy betul2 takde. Siapa nak jaga anak2 mommy macam mommy jaga?
Even I rasa I dah tinggalkan financially enough by doing hibah (this one sebab i taknak susahkan orang lain financially in future if something happen to me and my children’s future secured as well), but the feeling, the emotion yang anak2 I akan go through…. I can’t just imagine
All mommies out there pon ada rasa sama macam ni jugak tak??? Feel free to share with me if u have this kind of story too
P/S: But, a good thing is when I asked him ‘then if u don’t want me to die, u should listen to me. Ok? Would u listen to me after this?’
‘Okay mommy. I’ll listen to u. I’ll be a goodboy’ sambil kesat air mata